Opinion: If UW Ranked Sixth in World, Why am I so Stupid?

Recently, US News released its yearly ranking of global universities, which saw UW rise two places from last year, going from eighth to sixth. It’s a great accomplishment for all of our distinguished professors who work so hard to try and help make the world a better place (that’s why they do it right?). 

Although I am proud to go to such a highly ranked university, it really makes me reflect and wonder why I feel so stupid sometimes. I can’t count how many times I’ve been at the library and overheard some nerds discussing their physics homework, using phrases so advanced that I couldn’t comprehend and wouldn’t even be able to repeat if I tried. What’s the deal? I got in here too. I go to class half the time too. I challenge myself by waiting an hour before a paper is due to write it too. I put in two and a half hours of studying a week like everybody else, but I don’t feel like I should be associated with anything that’s sixth in the world.

If I’m at the sixth best global university according to US News, why would I mix up “effect” and “affect” every time I try to use one. Why would I wonder how trains work and how they build such big tunnels every time I take the light rail? Why would I mistakenly eat an entire grapefruit thinking it was an orange when I was super high that one time? That doesn’t sound like the behavior of someone who attends the sixth best global university, does it?

While it may be true that everybody does stupid things every once in a while, I know that my situation goes further than that. I’m reminded of my stupidity every time I go to a cafe and pretend to do work, and see everyone else silently typing away. I would bet that they never stare at a blank word document for hours thinking about whether a fried egg would taste good on my cheesy rice and whether or not I can fit two eggs in one rice bowl (it is, and I totally can). 

They say I’ll be able to write well when I graduate and I’ll be able to compare the history of ideas, whatever that means. Until that time comes, I guess I’ll stick to being the dumb guy in the room, even though my hero, Jesse Eisenberg’s character in the 2013 Louis Leterrier film Now You See Me, says you should always be the smartest guy in the room.