Suzzallo Library Announces Partnership with J.K. Rowling

As part of an advertising campaign for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, J.K. Rowling has teamed up with UW to rename Suzzallo Library to the “Official Harry Potter Library™: presented by J.K. Rowling.” The renaming will coincide with a series of changes to theme the library like the wizarding world of Harry Potter! The Starbucks will now serve Butterbeer lattes, the reading section will add floating candle features, and trans people are no longer allowed in the building. The school has released the following official announcement:

“Step into the magical world of Harry Potter™ this Spring quarter! Let magic and mischief abound as you share a Butterbeer™ with friends and study below an enchanted ceiling that’s just as overcast inside as it is outside! Enjoy meet and greets with professors dressed as your favorite Hogwarts™ teachers! Experience the thrill of reading one of the magic spellbooks that have replaced all of our normal books! And when nature calls, step into Moaning Myrtle’s Women’s bathroom™ and enjoy complimentary ‘protection charms’ from the Women Only Tampon Dispenser, provided by J.K. Rowling.”

In addition to the changes inside the building, Ana Mari Cauce has announced that the funding from the author will be used to replace controversial statues on campus. “With the call to remove outdated figures from our campus, we have decided it is high time that we assume responsibility and replace them,” said the president, “effective immediately, we will remove the busts of scholars from the front of Suzzallo and replace them with modern figures everyone can look up to, such as: J.K. Rowling, myself, and other girlboss icons.” Cauce went on to clarify that the school still has no intentions to remove the George Washington statue and that Ben Franklin will remain on the Suzzallo façade as they are both “girlbosses in spirit.” When asked if the inclusion of Rowling had anything to do with her funding of the renovation, Cauce declined for comment.