A Message From Last Year's President: The New Guys Didn’t Change The Password

On June 11th, 2022, I graduated from the University of Washington, and from my role as President of Off Leash News. The position was inherited by members of the publication that I knew would love and respect the role and its responsibilities. They were smart, funny, and kind. Things were in safe hands.

As I am writing this, it is October 21st, 2022. I have just discovered that they have changed none of the account passwords, and I still have universal access. Those morons.

There are one hundred and sixty-two days until April 1st, 2023. If the current presidents do not change the passwords by then, I will be posting this article on the website and all social media platforms. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. They’ll definitely change it by then. Right? 

November Update: No change so far. I have been using the email to create accounts for online manga websites in the hopes that they start to wonder why they are getting targeted ads of hot anime girls with big-ass swords. They don’t seem to have noticed, but in the process I have discovered that I definitely have a thing for hot anime girls with big-ass swords. 

December Update: Turns out I have bank account access too. The urge to buy as many Orbeez as possible (approximately four and a half million given our current funds) is overwhelming. 

January Update: I’m starting to realize that maybe they didn’t change the passwords because of our longstanding friendship, and it simply never crossed their minds that I would betray their trust. That was pretty stupid of them.

February Update: They wished me a happy birthday. Do you know what would make my birthday happy? My successors taking the security of this club seriously. 

March Update: My god. They’re really not going to change it, are they?

April Update: Well, here we are. Nearly a year later and the people I trusted to maintain the safety and security of this club have allowed ‘dubz69LOL’ to remain the password on every account. Hopefully, this will be a friendly wake-up call to get their shit together. And if they don’t change the password by tomorrow, I’m posting their names and addresses so that the greek community can finally seek personal revenge for the years of anonymous shit-talking we’ve they’ve done. Au Revoir!

L.E.