Opinion: Stop Complaining About the Cold

Shut up it's literally not cold.

Why are you complaining? It’s been in the low 40s for one (1) week and you’re out here acting like you’re battling the elements with Ernest Shackleton. All the weather has done is merely dip its pinky toe just barely below freezing at 4 in the morning and we all know you’re not even out of bed until 11:21am. My Siberian grandmother is shoveling snow at 0 degrees Fahrenheit and you don’t even have puddles to worry about anymore. You’ve never experienced a thing in your life. You are just desperate to complain and the rest of us do not want to hear it. 

Need I remind you that the sun is out. It is shining down upon us in a sea of what can only be described as a semi-erotic shade of iridescent blue. What more do you want? You want it to be 53 and raining? You want to forget what color the sky is supposed to be? You want to forget about the sun and the stars and the greater universe and the infinite wonder of it all? You want your itty bitty wittle socks to go squish squish squish inside your soggy knockoff blundstones? Grow up. 

Signed,

Everyone who lives more than 50 miles from the Pacific Ocean