Great news is here for all former 8 year old girls. With the completion of the IMA Pool, the UW Rec Clubs program will be offering a new water sport as of Spring 2024: mermaids. 

While mermaids is traditionally a non-competitive social activity, UW will be the first college in the United States to offer the competitive mermaid sport by adding a structured scoring system to the classic game. Players will be assessed on a variety of categories including underwater backflip, holding breath, cool mermaid name, and compelling backstory. 

Third-year student Nina Perez, whose preferred mermaid name is Moonlight Sparklesand, says she is very excited to join the club this spring. 

“I haven’t been able to play mermaids properly for nearly 10 years,” says Sparklesand. “I’ll go to Greenlake or Golden Gardens to play by myself in the summertime, but it’s so hard finding other mermaids to play with at age 20. I’m excited to find a new community of mermaids here at UW!”

While many other mermaids are excited for the sport to come to UW, some are worried about the new competitive aspect of the game. 

“I don’t think we should be pitting mermaids against each other,” says freshman Neptunia Blueheart. “Mermaids is about the adventures you get to enjoy with friends, not about deciding who’s the ‘better mermaid’.” 

It should be noted here that Blueheart can only hold her breath for 17 seconds, while the writer of this article can hold hers for 30. Additionally, Blueheart’s so-called tragic backstory is that she became isolated from her sister upon learning that she had magical ice powers, which most readers will recognize is just the plot of Disney’s “Frozen”. 

Since UW will be the only organization offering mermaids as of this spring, mermaids will be competing against each other locally until the sport inevitably reaches other communities. Mermaids is open to people of all genders, though it is anticipated to be a female-dominated sport. For those interested in a more mixed-gender pool sports environment, the UW Rec Clubs program is also hoping to introduce Marco-Polo next fall.