Last week, an administration change required that all classes at the University of Washington record their lectures through Panopto and post them to Canvas to give students a chance to review classes they were absent for.

Since this change was implemented last Monday, lecture attendance has dropped to about 2% across the campus. Many professors are outraged at the university’s decision and general lack of attendance from students, however some have leaned into this new style of teaching.

“I don’t even post the lectures,” says UW Professor Gracie Boyd, “None of the students request them or seem to notice they’re missing. Only one student has been showing up to class, and instead of lecturing we just play Battleship.” 

When asked why she doesn’t post her lectures, Professor Boyd commented she was “kicking too much Battleship ass to care about this dumbass class.”

Contrary to most professors, UW students seemed incredibly enthusiastic about the option to rewatch lectures.

“I feel like I can finally build a schedule centered around me while still being productive,” said fourth year Martin Lee. “I’ve had a lot more time to focus on masturbation and pornography.” 

When asked if these extracurriculars were for Psych 210,The Diversity of Human Sexuality, Matin simply replied “No, they are not.”

“Yeah, the Panopto thing has been fire,” says Jack Shearer, first year. “It lets me review subject materials I’m confused with, and miss classes if I’m feeling sick or have another commitment.

I still show up to class, but only because my ceramics professor has been getting really competitive with me over the board game battleship. I keep trying to explain to her that it’s not really a skill based game, but she’s insistent that she’s ‘worthless’ until she can beat me.”

The school faculty held a meeting with the UW Board of Regents last night, where students and professors alike were allowed an open forum to share their opinions on the mandatory recording of all classes. However, after it was disclosed that the meeting would be recorded on panopto, no one showed up.