Earlier this morning, BIOL 180 professor Dr. Lisa Garland reassured her students via canvas message that her class was not graded competitively. Dr. Garland stated in her email, “The teaching staff and I want to remind everyone that this is a cooperative learning environment and that everyone  can do well in this class. It’s just that only the top .05% of the class will get a 4.0 and the rest of you will have to fight for scraps.”

In her message Dr. Garland gave some tips for studying for future exams in BIOL 180. “I’m going to tell you all what I tell my students every year: practice, practice, PRACTICE and make study groups! Find the smartest students in class and befriend them and ask them questions: ‘Did you understand the figure in the reading last night?’ ‘What’s the difference between mitosis and meiosis again?’ ‘Are you sexually active with your boyfriend?’ ‘Can you tell me what fitness means in this context?’ Asking these types of questions is your first step to success in this class.” 

Dr. Garland assured students that success in her class was attainable. “Do your absolute best and go above and beyond! Come to office hours! Ask questions in class! Put a positive pregnancy test in your whore of a study mate’s boyfriend’s bathroom,” she said. “Engage during lab section! Come to a group study session with COVID a week before the exam and do some up-close mouth breathing. Read the textbook!”

Dr. Garland also offered some advice on how to deal with stress related to BIOL 180. “I understand that tests are super stressful and that some of you are just not that bright. But! A test grade doesn’t define you! I mean it will be the sole deciding factor of if you get into med school and make your parents proud, but I truly believe a majority of you have a really bright future as baristas!”

Off Leash reached out to BIOL 180 students to see how they reacted to Dr. Garland’s message. One student responded, “Well I think that the grading system is really quite generous. I got a 93 on the last exam and I have a 3.1 in the class. It’s just really fair and I go to all the office hours and it's not competitive and and and… look I just really need this letter of rec for med school okay?”

Another student replied with, “Look I really don’t have time for this. We have an exam in two weeks and a study group on Friday so I’ve gotta start licking all the doorknobs I see right away.”