Warm, socially-distant greetings to our ever-loyal Off Leash readers and stans! In light of the global pandemic, our utter lack of anything else to do, and Off Leash’s first-ever power transition (women are in charge now), we are excited to announce the release of our very first online, TOTALLY FREE issue: Issue 4.5, The Quarantine Diaries. 

We saw your shitty memes. Your subtweets. Your endless stream of mindless political content. We’ve all been desperately attempting to take the edge off this horrifying world crisis. Little did you know, young one, that what you’ve needed all along is for your favorite local fake news source to take your mundane existence and turn it into a joke!

Just like you, we miss the way things used to be. In light of the changing times, this is our gift to you. So click the link below and start reading about quarantine life at UW, with pieces like “My Oat Milk Experience,” “The Truth Behind the Toilet Paper Panic,” and “Opinion: Stay Home. Stay Healthy. Forever,” and oh-so-many more. 

Click on this bolded sentence. Do it.

Share it with your friends, your family, or anyone else looking for a chuckle while we watch the world fall apart in front of our eyes. Thank you all, and enjoy our desperate attempt to make light of the world’s longest spout of collective seasonal depression. 

We’ll see you next year, fuckers. Maybe. 

Josie Culp, Chair