If you’ve ever wanted to see how Senator Romney loosens up during his visits to Miami, or what Representative Boebert wishes she wore while at the movie theater, you’re in luck.

Just this past week Presidential candidate Donald Trump announced the first-ever issue of Pin-Up Politicians, a yearly calendar installation that features your favorite Congressmen and women in decidedly non-professional attire in front of artful, sensual backgrounds and positions.

“Sex sells,” the ex-president reportedly said, “and we’re gonna pay this trillion-dollar debt off one way or another.”

Accompanying this announcement was also the proposal of decreasing federal taxes across the nation—the caveat being that pre-order sales reach the 10% mark.

“It’s really great,” says junior education manager Rachel Roosevelt after watching the candidate dodge another poorly-aimed bullet in his departure, “y’know, as Americans, we’re always wondering how we can truly unite together in spite of our divided government system, and now we finally have a solution wrapped in Victoria’s Secret lingerie and leather harnesses. I just wish the calendar features extended to White House employees.”

Of course, the decision was met with some resistance, mainly from those who did not previously own the kind of apparel subjects were expected to wear during these calendar photoshoots. One vocal dissenter was Washington state Senator Patty Murray, who claimed that “[she] hasn’t had lace touch her strange since the 70’s, and seeing how expensive undergarments are these days, sure as hell won’t now.” Many other older members parroted her concerns, a testament to the severity of inflation since the Reagan era.

Just as it seemed that a riot was to break out in the White House, Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance quickly reassured Congress that the necessary equipment—mainly couches—and costumes would be provided as needed. Protests quieted down since the announcement, and Committees have had fewer disagreements, even in regards to historically divisive topics such as abortion, military spending, and climate change.

Issue #1 is expected to be released on November 5th, marking the start of election season and ex-President Trump’s promise to change American policy for the better.

A limited-edition calendar is also expected to be in the making, featuring the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates in a Republican Party group photoshoot reminiscent of the Last Supper. Of course, this is contingent on 25% of the 33 trillion debt being accounted for solely by Issue #1.

Pre-orders available on the official White House website.